“”

Women's Health, Your Way

March 05, 2026

Ask & Search With Clara

Welcome to a new standard for women’s health answers.

GIRLHOOD / Re-Seeking Joy (And Trusting My Own Taste Again)

Re-Seeking Joy (And Trusting My Own Taste Again)

Re-Seeking Joy (And Trusting My Own Taste Again)

I’ll never forget when a high school acquaintance once said to me, “Kristyn, I love how you’ve always had your own personal style.” At the time, I don’t think I realized just how deeply that would stick. But even now, years later, it still feels like one of the best compliments I’ve ever received.

In my teens and early twenties, I was peak me. I spent whatever disposable income I had on Broadway tickets, wandered Strand Bookstore like it was church, and proudly carried faux designer bags from Chinatown. I flirted with trends (hi, Juicy suits and Air Jordans), but I never let them lead. I followed my instincts. I dressed, decorated, and lived for myself.

Then… social media happened. And not long after, motherhood followed.

Suddenly, there were rules. Influencers decided what was chic and what was cringe. Homes had to be aesthetic. Outfits had to be “timeless.” Even joy felt curated. This year, while decorating for Christmas with pieces I’ve collected and loved over time — items that don’t perfectly match but feel like me — I caught myself thinking: "Nothing goes together. What will people think?" (As if my family members were showing up with scorecards.)

That was the moment it clicked.

One year postpartum, emerging from a fog, exhausted by scrolling and craving something more analog and less performative, I realized my intention for the new year is simple: re-seek joy. Not the algorithm-approved kind — the kind that feels intuitive, personal, and maybe even slightly rebellious.

So far, that’s looked like wallpapering the back of a shelf in my very outdated kitchen, thrifting an Anthropologie dress for $52, and buying bold emerald green costume earrings just because they made my heart beat faster. It’s remembering that I’m a mom, yes, but I’m also someone with taste, curiosity, creativity, and a nervous system that still lights up over color, texture, and possibility.

It turns out, joy doesn’t have to match. It just has to feel like home again... and like mine.

More from GIRLHOOD

When Meghan Trainor shared that she used a surrogate for her third baby, after two C-sections and complicated pregnancies, my first reaction wasn’t shock. It was recognition. Not because I... Read more
After two pregnancies and three babies, I thought I knew my body pretty well. We've been through infertility, loss, two vaginal births, and a C-section — I felt like we... Read more
I finished Half His Age in two nights — the kind where you look up, it’s past midnight, and you’re already tired for tomorrow. If you read I’m Glad My... Read more
There’s a very specific flavor of disappointment that can sneak into birthdays in your 30s. Not because anything goes wrong, exactly, but because the day rarely lives up to the... Read more

ADHD and the Six-Digit Code

Today is my 37th birthday, and if I could have one gift — no wrapping required — it would be a small reprieve from two-factor authentication. I know. Cybersecurity. Identity... Read more
Somewhere between the protein obsession and the cold plunge discourse, sleep quietly became the coolest thing you can do for your health. And honestly? It's about time. Bustle recently ran a... Read more
They say death comes in threes, but lately it feels less like superstition and more like a pattern I can’t unsee. And the cause, in so many of these losses,... Read more
They say some people eat to live, while others live to eat. As a second-generation Italian-American girl from Queens, I have always, proudly, lived to eat. Food is how we... Read more
I did not have “Bridgerton teaches us about the pleasure gap” on my 2026 bingo card, and yet… here we are. Just when we’d all quietly filed Francesca away as... Read more

Are We Done… or Just Tired?

People don’t talk enough about how hard it is to know you’re “done” having kids after years of infertility. Mostly because “done” implies a level of certainty that infertility never... Read more