Can You Get an STI Without Having Sex? The Facts

STIs — sexually transmitted infections — come with a lot of misconceptions. One of the biggest? That you can only get one through penetrative sex. The truth is, while sex is the most common way these infections spread, it’s not the only way.

So, if you’re wondering, can you get an STI without having sex? It's a valid question, especially if you're not sexually active or in a committed relationship. The truth is, while sex is the primary way STIs spread, it's not the only way. So, let's dive into this topic and clear up some misconceptions.

Can you get an STI without being sexually active?

The short answer is yes, it is possible to get an STI without being sexually active. This might come as a surprise, but several STIs can be transmitted through non-sexual contact.

Some infections spread through other forms of close contact, contaminated objects, or even from birth. Here’s how:

• Skin-to-skin contact: HPV, herpes, and syphilis can spread through direct skin contact, even without penetration. That means activities like mutual masturbation, genital rubbing, or dry humping can transmit an infection.
• Oral transmission: Certain STIs can be transmitted through oral sex or even deep kissing. This includes infections like herpes, gonorrhea, and syphilis.
• Shared personal items: Sharing razors, toothbrushes, or even towels with someone who has an infection like herpes or hepatitis B can put you at risk.
• Vertical transmission: Some STIs, like syphilis, HIV, or hepatitis B, can pass from mother to child during pregnancy, childbirth, or breastfeeding. This is why prenatal STI screening is so important for expectant mothers.
• Bloodborne transmission: STIs like hepatitis B and HIV can spread through contaminated needles or blood transfusions (though modern screening practices have made this rare).
• Public surfaces? Not really. Hot tubs and toilet seats are often blamed for STIs, but the reality is that these viruses and bacteria don’t survive long outside the human body. Unless there’s direct contact with infected fluids, the risk is low.

Can a virgin catch an STI?

This might sound counterintuitive, but yes, a virgin can catch an STI. Remember, virginity typically refers to not having had penetrative sex, but there are other ways infections can spread. For instance, intimate skin-to-skin contact, even with clothes on, can potentially transmit infections like human papillomavirus (HPV) or pubic lice. Additionally, some STIs can be passed from mother to child during pregnancy or childbirth, meaning a person could be born with an infection.

Is it possible to get an STI without cheating?

Absolutely. This is a crucial point to understand because accusations of infidelity based solely on an STI diagnosis can be harmful and often incorrect. There are several scenarios where someone in a monogamous relationship might contract an STI without cheating.

Some infections, like HPV or herpes, can lie dormant in the body for years before showing symptoms. This means a person could have contracted the infection before the current relationship and only discover it later.

Can an STI start on its own?

No, STIs don't spontaneously appear out of nowhere (and they don’t go away by themselves, either). They're caused by specific bacteria, viruses, or parasites that need to be transmitted from one person to another.

However, it's important to note that some conditions (mainly infections) that affect the genital area aren't considered STIs and can develop without sexual contact, like:

• Bacterial vaginosis (BV): BV isn’t an STI but is often mistaken for one because of symptoms like unusual discharge and odor.
• Yeast infections: These are caused by an overgrowth of naturally occurring fungi, not sexual transmission.
• Urinary tract infections (UTIs): While UTIs can be triggered by sexual activity, they aren’t sexually transmitted infections.

These conditions can cause symptoms similar to some STIs, which is why it's crucial to get a proper medical diagnosis and treatment rather than self-diagnosing or assuming the worst.

Protecting yourself from STIs

Understanding that STIs can spread through various means doesn't mean you need to live in fear. There are many ways to protect yourself and maintain good sexual health. Regular STI testing is crucial, even if you're not sexually active or are in a monogamous relationship. Many STIs don't show immediate symptoms, so getting tested is the only way to know for sure.

Practice safe sex by using barriers like condoms and dental dams during sexual activity, including oral sex. Be open and honest with your partners about your sexual health and encourage them to do the same. Remember, there's no shame in asking a partner about their STI status or requesting that you both get tested before becoming intimate.

For some STIs, like HPV and hepatitis B, vaccines are available. Talk to your healthcare provider about whether these vaccines are appropriate for you. And don't forget about general hygiene practices, like not sharing personal items that could come into contact with bodily fluids.

Why STI stigma needs to end

One of the biggest barriers to sexual health is stigma. Many people avoid STI testing, treatment, or even talking about their concerns with a healthcare provider out of fear of judgment, but the reality is that STIs are incredibly common. In fact, the World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that over 1 million STIs are acquired every day worldwide.

The more we normalize conversations about STIs, the easier it becomes for people to seek testing, treatment, and protection. Having an STI doesn't define a person's worth or character. STIs are incredibly common, and anyone can contract one, regardless of their sexual behavior.

Don't let embarrassment or fear prevent you from seeking help. Healthcare providers are there to assist you, not judge you. They've seen it all before, and your health and well-being are their primary concern. Regular testing, safe practices, and open conversations are the best ways to protect yourself and others.

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Tassia O'Callaghan is an experienced content writer and strategist, having written about a vast range of topics from chemical regulations to parenting, for brands like Peanut App Ltd, Scary Mommy, Tally Workspace, and Office Christmas. She's an advocate for realistic sustainable living, supporting small businesses (author of A-Z of Marketing for Small Businesses), and equity across all walks of life. Follow her on LinkedIn or TikTok, or see more of her work on Authory or her website.