Let's Unpack TikTok's 'Headband Theory' and the 'I'm Just a Girl' Trope

I'll admit it: When I first started hearing the phrase "I'm just a girl" on social media, I was fully on board. It felt like the cute, cheeky reclamation of girliness — a way for us to proudly declare that we hold on to girlhood throughout our lives. 

But there's a fine line between celebrating girlhood and participating in the infantilization of women. And I feel like a lot of the conversations I've come across on social media have gone too far in the latter direction.

Take the “headband theory” that’s going around right now. In a viral video, a young woman talks about a theory she and her friends have: They wear headbands to work every so often. “It signifies to people you’re working with that you are in fact just a girl”, she says.

But…why are we still shrinking ourselves in this way? We’re not “just” girls. This isn’t just about words. It’s about the way women are never taken seriously, and how instead of pushing back against that, we’re contributing to it by playing into the stereotypes.

Maybe there’s the illusion of protection when we lean into the “just a girl” thing, but ultimately, all what we’re really doing is positioning ourselves as  less capable and competent and less worthy of being listened to than we truly are. 

And being listened to, heard, taken seriously, is already such a hurdle women face in every part of their lives, from career, to health, to relationships, and everything in between. Why are we contributing to this?