Infant Sleep Scores are Just Another Way We Stress Out New Moms

I became a mom in 2018, shortly after the tech boom in the baby care space. 

There were bassinets that auto-rocked your baby, heart rate monitors that strapped into those tiny newborn feet, rockers that stimulated the motion of a mother's womb...and so on and so forth. I totally fell for it, too. I bought the gadgets and I felt a level of gratitude for the modern-day conveniences of new motherhood.

But like...have we gone too far? Because now there's literally a way to get your baby's sleep score via AI thanks to Nanit's new offerings. And I don't know....it just feels like one more thing that'll stress out already exhausted and overwhelmed new parents. 

I find myself wondering if, by making new parenthood so modernized, we're simply making life harder and more stressful for new parents. And, of course, when I say "new parents", I mostly mean new mothers. They are, after all, the ones being fed constant ads and reminders of these products. 

It's natural for new moms to feel like they need to invest in all the things in order to make the transition to parenthood more seamless, or even to give your children the best start in life. It's also natural to seek validation that we're doing it right, to crave tangible representation of our performance in motherhood...and, in an attempt to do that, to seek out this type of data. But the truth is, the things that can make new parenthood easier aren't high-tech. They're things like paid leave, proper postpartum healthcare, accessible mental health care, a village, adequate rest, and true human support. We don't need every new product or an app for everything or all the metrics. 

To me, having your baby's sleep score feels the intersection of all those things: Too much tech, too many products, and too many metrics ‚ and if you know me, you know I LOVE information! But do we really need to know our baby's sleep score, or is that just one more data point for us to (no pun intended!) lose sleep over? Perhaps I see it more clearly now, seven years into motherhood, but I feel like it's the latter.

Ask Clara:

"Are mothers prepared for postpartum?"

We're Chopped, Fam: A Shocking Percentage of Gen Z Thinks Wives Should 'Obey' Their Husbands

A recent study found something shocking: Nearly one-third of Gen Z men who responded to the survey believe women should “obey” their husbands.

Yes, obey. Not respect. Not love. Not trust. Obey. Their. Husbands.

The wildest part of all this? Gen Z men were found to be far more likely to hold these old-school ideas about decision-making power in a marriage than their baby boomer counterparts. So much for progress, right?

These findings come from IPSOS and the Global Institute for Women’s Leadership at King’s Business School, King’s College London, and were released to align with — you can’t make this stuff up — International Women’s Day. It included a survey of 23,000 people in 29 countries….so yeah, that’s pretty comprehensive.

The findings are pretty alarming: Aside from the “obey your husband” of it all, the research also revealed that nearly a quarter of the men surveyed believe women should not appear too independent or self-sufficient, and 21 percent think women should never initiate sex (yes, really).

More than half of the Gen Z men surveyed believe they’re “expected to do too much” in the name of equality, and honestly that doesn’t even surprise me because…*gestures all around*.

Listen, anyone who spends any amount of time on TikTok knows that this type of ethos is out there. There’s the manosphere, there’s red pilling, and as a result, men are feeling some type of way about the role they’re expected to play in our world. And unfortunately, far too many women are carrying water for the patriarchy and boldly declaring themselves anti-feminist (all while profiting off of those messages, which is kind of the whole point of feminism). But instead of talking about how patriarchy is actually harming both men and women (are we ready for that conversation yet?), we’re sliding back into these weird, retrograde ideas about gender roles in relationships. And it’s….the exact opposite of progress. 

Anyway, as the kids say…we’re chopped, fam. We’re chopped. 

Ask Clara:

"How does the patriarchy harm men?"

Pandemic Nostalgia is a Thing. Am I a Monster for Feeling It?

It’s been six years since the world as we knew it changed entirely thanks to a global pandemic. Like most people, I miss parts of our pre-pandemic world (we’ve gotten a little too socially awkward, yaknow?), yet I also think this world-altering virus changed some things for the better.

But here's my little secret: From time to time, I miss those earliest days of the pandemic....and I used to be ashamed to admit that because, well...it wasn't exactly the happiest of times. When I recently dared to admit my pandemic nostalgia to a friend, she confided that she felt it too. 

To be very, very clear: I don’t miss the way the world felt, that sense of doomsday every day. I don’t miss the darkness or the fear or terrible news cycle or the death and destruction the pandemic brought upon so many people.

But I do miss how slowly time moved. I miss not feeling rushed all the time. I miss spending so much time with my family. 

Of course, it’s easy to look back at the pandemic and only remember the coziness of being quarantined, and blocking out all the anxiety we faced. When I think back to the quarantine days, I remember playing on the floor with my kids. I don’t immeadiately remember wiping down my groceries and feeling my heart sink with every news update, but that was the reality of that time.

But even with all the paranoia, I  think those pandemic days showed us that there’s a better way to live — with less hustle and less chaos. My husband, who works a demanding job with lots of travel, was suddenly home all the time, and the way he bonded with our children was indescribable. So many other families experienced that too.

We spent our days making food from scratch, snuggling with our kids, and resting, and just being grateful for the gifts of life and health. It’s a privileged stance to take, I know: So many people were forced to go back to in-person work and didn’t have the slow, cozy experience I did. 

I took so many lessons from the pandemic: The value of spending time doing nothing with the people I love. The fragility of life. The essential nature of unpaid labor. The importance of listening to experts…and the danger of failing to do so. It was a pivotal time in world history, and it forced us to reset on every level. 

And while I don’t want to go back to the darkness and turmoil of it all, I do think back fondly to those early days. For me, and I imagine many of you, it felt like the forced pause I desperately needed.

Ask Clara:

"How did the pandemic change our behaviors?"

The Internet Has a New Favorite Single-Ingredient Protein Snack and I'm Here for It

I’ve never been a big fan of protein bars. To me, they’ve always tasted chalky and unnatural. And…well, they kind of are.

When you’re eating a protein bar, you’re eating something with lots of ingredients. I’m not someone who never eats processed food (what would life be without the occasional Oreo?), but I do often feel like eating a protein bar is basically like eating a (very filling, to be fair) candy bar...except it doesn’t actually taste all that good. And listen, if you love the taste of them, feel free to disagree here. Protein bars are great for the convenience, for travel days, for stashing at your desk when you don't have time for a full meal, etc. But I've just never found one I've really enjoyed.

Enter: The Internet’s new favorite “protein bar”, which is a single-ingredient snack the girlies on TikTok are loving.

The “bar” in question is actually not a bar at all, but a hunk of parmesan cheese. Online, people are calling this out as an easy, on-to-go, high-protein snack. Only unlike a protein bar, this is delicious and not chock full of a laundry list of ingredients. 

Listen, as a cheese lover, I’m fully on board with this. I’d much rather chew on a piece of parm as opposed to any of the protein bars I’ve actually tried. Obviously, a hunk of parm isn’t nearly as portable for on-the-go snacking as a packaged bar, but it’s also...packaged food. Which is kind of the positive and the negative here, you know?

There’s definitely a time and place in which a protein bar is going to make sense (I will not be stashing a block of cheese in my car for snack emergencies, thank you very much), but if I’m home and want a filling snack? I’d much rather reach for my cheese drawer than a bar.

Registered dietician Anna Bohnengel co-signs that parm is a delicious snack option, albeit one she never considered as a protein bar replacement…but the Internet girlies get a few things right, says the expert.

“An ounce of parmesan provides about 10 grams of protein, and it’s definitely less processed than protein bars,” says Bohnengel.

“But it’s also calorie-dense and contains no fiber, so it may not be very satisfying on its own," she adds. “Pairing it with fruit or vegetables can make it a more balanced snack.”

Anyway, BRB. I’m off to make myself a snack plate of parm and berries. And sure, it’s the most convenient grab-and-go snack, but doesn’t that feel so much more luxurious and enjoyable than a protein bar?

Ask Clara:

"How much protein should I be eating?"

What Does it Really Mean to Age Gracefully in 2026?

Today is my 38th birthday. I don’t know when things shifted, but I’ve officially crossed over into the point of my life in which aging feels scary. It’s hard not to think about aging constantly, especially right now, when the beauty standards of youthfulness are so much more intense than they ever were before. 

I want to be someone who ages gracefully. But in 2026, what does that even mean? Our image of what a 40-year-old woman “should” look like is so warped right now…but then, it always has been, hasn’t it? 

Ten years ago, women over 30 were portrayed as ancient and invisible, as if their entire lives had passed her by. The only real representation of “middle aged women” we had was this sitcom-ified version of a suburban mom in a minivan. She wasn’t really a full person in many of these portrayals; she was a symbol and vessel. No dreams of her own, no agency, no personal style…it was like messages everywhere told us that once we hit a certain age, we should just retreat. 

There have been some notable exceptions: One of my favorite comfort shows, Younger, is all about a 40-year-old woman who fully embraces her second act. She’s a main character, and she still has desire and ambition and fun. The show’s whole premise, though, is that she has to masquerade as a much younger woman in order to live this full life.

And then there’s one of my favorite books, The Idea of You, which is about an age gap relationship — come for the steamy scenes, stay for the beautiful commentary on what it is to age as a woman in a world that essentially tells us we become invisible once we hit a certain age.

All that to say? I want to age gracefully. I have never tried botox, filler, or plastic surgery (though I have started coloring my pesky grey hairs!), and for a while I thought that meant I was doing it — I was “aging gracefully”. This felt like a rebellious stance to take in a world that expects women to remain frozen in time. But today, one year older and reflecting on what it means to age as a woman, I realize it’s not about that at all.

Aging gracefully isn’t about refusing a little botox. It’s also not about refusing to let time do it’s thing to your outward appearance. It’s about living fully, even in a world that tells you to shrink yourself down or make yourself less. 

Ask Clara:

"How do beauty standards affect women as they age?"

TikTokers Are Eating Beans for Breakfast. Should You Try It?

Another day, another TikTok rabbit hole. And this one led me to the part of the app where people are obsessed with…well, beans. No, this isn't meant to signify something else. I’m literally just talking about beans. Black beans, navy beans, white beans, kidney beans…any type of bean you like. 

It’s called “beantok” because of course it is, and it features people touting (no, not “tooting”, touting) beans for their ability to “make you hot”, according to a super viral TikTok. Creators are especially into beans for breakfast, and they’re sharing the bean-centric morning meals they’re concocting. Think: A pile of black beans topped off with avocado, a fried egg, and hot sauce. Or, if you prefer, a pile of sauteed beans plated with boiled eggs and whatever other breakfast fare you like.

But is there truly anything magical about eating beans, specifically for breakfast? Because honestly…beans are not high on the list of things I crave first thing in the morning (give me a bagel over a pile of kidney beans any day).

 Is this Tiktok hack worth paying attention to…or is it just another example of wellness culture telling us to do something with zero grounding in fact and turning it into a huge fad?

According to registered dietician Anna Bohnengel, there’s something to the whole beantok thing.

“Starting your day with a mix of protein and fiber is one of the most reliable ways to stabilize blood sugar, hormones, and appetite. Research consistently shows that higher-fiber, higher-protein breakfasts reduce post-meal glucose spikes and improve satiety for hours afterward,” she says.

But why beans specifically?

“Beans provide a beneficial combo of protein, fiber, and micronutrients that all support both blood sugar control and gut microbiome health,” Bohnengel explains. 

Breakfasts tend to be full of refined grains (cereal, oatmeal, toast, etc.), but even people who are eating protein and fiber-packed breakfasts (say, eggs and fruit) could benefit from a beans-for-breakfast situation.  “Beans can still boost the soluble fiber for fueling beneficial bacteria in your gut microbiome,” says the expert.

So there you have it. Beans for breakfast — it’s not only TikTok approved, but expert-approved as well. 

Ask Clara:

"What are the benefits of eating beans?"

Hilary Duff's Admission About Needing Relationship 'Chaos' is So Relatable. But is That a Good Thing?

Last week, I posed a question to BODYTALK’s newsletter subscribers (side note: Have you joined the chat yet?): I asked them if they’d ever been in a truly toxic relationship…and 70 percent of respondents said yes. 

This doesn’t surprise me: Toxic relationships have been glorified and romanticized, and we’ve all been conditioned to believe that the heart-pounding, butterfly-inducing, high-highs-and-low-lows type of relationships are the height of romance. See: Oh…pretty much every movie and TV show ever. Love triangles and will-they-won't-they stories and "passionate" fights between lovers were forced down our throats at pretty much every turn.

And it turns out, even our millennial screen queen/relatable celeb icon isn’t immune to the pull of these messages. On a recent Call Her Daddy appearance, Hilary Duff opened about the beginning of her relationship with her now-husband, Matthew Koma. 

“He was very sweet,” she said of their relationship’s earliest days. “He was so nice to me and I remember being like…he’s so nice. That's not really a thing.”

And then, she dropped a bomb that made so many things — even in my own life — instantly make sense. “I think I needed some chaos first,” she said.

I can relate…and if you’re reading this, I’m guessing you can as well.

Duff went on to talk about how she and Koma broke up multiple times (and really, haven’t we all done the on-again-off-again thing at one point or another?). Again…it’s really relatable. And it clarifies why pretty much every woman I know has, at one point or another, turned away from a good thing in favor of…well, more chaos.

I think we’ve been so conditioned to believe that romantic relationships should make our nervous systems go a little crazy…and I also think we as women have been conditioned to feel we don’t deserve nice things. 

Part of me feels like craving the chaos is just a rite of passage….but is it really? Or is it just years and years of being made to feel like stability is boring or stale? And also...years of being made to feel like we don't deserve to just be treated well without the drama and emotional labor and the fighting to prove our worth. 

We’ve recieved so many ideas about the excitment and the buzz or being in an unstable partnership that makes us feel a little bit crazy. But can we put a new narrative in place now? Chaos isn’t cute. Sometimes, people really are nice and good…and we’re worthy of that niceness and goodness. 

Ask Clara:

"Why do we crave chaos in relationships? "

Millennials Have Entered Our Sandwich Generation Era and It’s a Lot

I’m a member of the sandwich generation, and I’m not the only one. Data indicates that millions of U.S. adults are right there with me in the sandwich, raising young kids while also having a parent aged 65 or older. 

Yes, this has always been a thing, but millennials are feeling it on a whole new level, especially because many of us had kids later, once our parents were already entering advanced age, among other reasons. And of course, we’re doing it under intensely difficult cultural, systemic, and economic conditions. 

The reality is, many of us are juggling multiple caregiving roles, and the weight of this responsibility falls predominantly on women. Finally, we have some data to confirm this: Research overwhelmingly indicates that women take on more childcare and domestic labor, and more elder care as well. 

For women who are balancing it all — multiple caregiving responsibilities, busy careers, partnerships, and more, finding time to invest in our own health is nearly impossible. And so we forget to schedule our mammograms. We cancel our therapy session when a kid is home sick from school. We forgo exercise when an aging parent needs extra care. We don’t eat well (or enough) because we just don’t have the mental energy to think about what we should reach for. We don’t rest enough — even when we physically lie down, our minds never stop racing. 

It’s a lot. The good news is, we’re finally starting to talk about it, and we can’t afford to stop anytime soon. Nothing changes unless we bring awareness to the issue. And the issue at hand is clear: Millennial women are burning out…and this sandwich generation era many of us are in? It just might be our most exhausting era yet.

Ask Clara:

"Do women do more caregiving?"

Who Gets to be a 'Pilates Girlie'?

On the current season of Love is Blind, there’s a scene that has audiences heated. In it, a man on the show tells the woman he is engaged to that he’s not feeling their physical connection. His idea of a woman to whom he'd be attracted? Someone "who does f*cking pilates every day,” he says by way of explanation.

If you haven’t watched the clip, you should — it contains some necessary context. But audiences have held on to the pilates of it all, and it’s because…well, this isn’t the first time the exercise has been mentioned in this picture of idealized, aspirational womanhood.

And we need to unpack it. Because in the zeitgeist of 2026, referring to someone as a “pilates girlie” or a “pilates wife” doesn’t just refer to a woman who enjoys this particular form of exercise.

To some, pilates has come to represent a slice of wealthy, white, thin womanhood that's being glorified. There’s a “pilates girl aesthetic”, which is essentially a thin body dressed in pricey workout sets, sipping a matcha, and hopping into a luxury SUV after a session at a pilates studio...which is filled with other thin, wealthy, white women. 

This mythical idea of a “pilates wife” or a “pilates mom” has a whole chokehold on social media, and it feels like this image has very little to do with actually doing or enjoying pilates, and more to do with this extremely narrow standard of what a “hot high value” woman who "takes care of herself" should be. 

There’s so much wrapped up in this: Racism, classism, fatphobia, and more. We’ve all seen the commentary that people in larger bodies “shouldn’t” do pilates, or that a “pilates body” is a lean frame with visible abs, or that a man’s “ultimate goal” should be to make his wife a “pilates wife”. But at the end of the day pilates is just…an exercise. It doesn’t require you to look a certain way or live a certain lifestyle or represent a very specific segment of womanhood. 

Ask Clara:

"What are the benefits of pilates?"

We Should All Know the Term "Matresence"

I was a journalist covering prenatal and maternal health for years before I had kids. I thought I was so prepared for anything new motherhood threw at me…yet when I finally had my twins, I felt completely unmoored. 

I didn’t have the language to describe what I was feeling — I just knew that I didn’t feel like me. But it turns out, there is a word for that transition, and if I had known that word, I would have been able to make sense of what I was feeling. 

Matresence is that word, and it’s one we should put into public consciousness. Yet once again, women are denied the knowledge and the information they need in order to understand their own health and what they’re experiencing.

Matresence refers to the complex process of becoming a mother. It’s a process that changes you in every way, yet it’s one nobody ever prepares new mothers to face. And that’s why we need the word “matresence” to be made mainstream…and why it’s so frustrating that we still haven’t achieved that progress.

The word “matresence” doesn’t appear in the dictionary (yet somehow the term “IDGAF” does?) and we’re long overdue for that to change. Peanut, an app designed for moms to make friends with one another, is leading the charge here: They’ve taken out a full-page ad in the New York Times devoted to this cause.

This isn’t just a maternal issue, it’s a women’s health issue, too. I’m a mom who loves being a mom. I’m also a woman who firmly believes in sharing the realities of what motherhood truly looks like so the women who come after me can make informed reproductive choices. And when we deprive them of the true understanding of what becoming a mother truly looks like, we’re essentially stripping their ability to make a choice with all the necessary information.

The fact that matrescence isn’t a widely used or recognized term — that it’s not even in the dictionary, while all sorts of social media-made slang terms find their way into the book —  is indicative of something so much larger. It all comes down to how little information we give women about their own bodies and lives. Our institutions won’t talk about it, so we have to have the conversations ourselves — and those conversations are a lot easier to have when we have the type of language they require.

Ask Clara:

"What is matresence?"